Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Tomorrow's the Day

So tomorrow is the big day. My first Chemo treatment. I thought it was going to be on Friday, but I was able to get in tomorrow. They had been holding back a little bit due to some insurance issues... as in we have no insurance, but that is just crazy. Im not going to let this spread and kill me all because of a few hundred thousand$$$. Whats money, right?? We will get all that figured out eventually, but in the meantime, I will start the fight. I am a little nervous-I wont lie. Im scared to lose my hair, im scard to be nausous, im scared to throw up, im scared to be so tired that I cant play with my kids, im scared to inject loads and loads of poisnious toxins into my body and im scared of how my body will react. What if it doesnt work? What if it makes me so sick i end up in the hospital? what if it works and them it comes back and i have to do it all over again? There are so many things that are going through my mind, BUT I know there is a reason why this is done. I know that im going to be full of posion, but its killing the cancer. i would rather not be able to play with my kids for a measly 6 months or so than to never play with them again. This is only temporary, and we will all get through it. Im so grateful that I have soooo much help. I know its going to be a burden, but I just need to accept the help and be grateful I have it. This is the begining of a long road, but i am so ready!!! Like my sister in laws said... Cancer picked the wrong beotch!!! Love you all


The Dunford Family said...

You're Sister-in-Laws are SMART women!!!

The Dunford Family said...

Hey, don't know how good this is, but I was reading a health mag at the dentist today and an article that talked about parenting while having cancer. Thought it might be something you could look into, might have some good tips to help you and your sweet little kiddos! also, some proof that you're on my mind and in my daily prayers. Call if you need anything!
The author is Wendy Harpham...

Joan said...

Hey Shelly,
I've been reading your blog for a while and was so socked when I read about the cancer. You have always been so honest on your family blog and I'm glad you're not changing that now.
I think about you all of the time, since I found out. I wish I was in AZ so I could feel like I could do something to help. I will be praying for you and your sweet family since that is what I feel like will help.
I have total faith in you that you will be able to get through this and kick the cancers butt like you said. You are one tough chick!

Lana and Terry said...

Shelly, I seriously don't blame you one bit for being scared. The big "C" is the scariest thing ever. BUT you have a fabulous attitude and TONS of people praying and cheering you on. Please know our thoughts and prayers are with you daily and keep your 'GREAT TUDE" going!!!

Lori Woodman said...

Shelly, just keep up the fight! Tim is still on his chemo regimen but is hanging in there. He is VERY tired because he had to go back to work...so the best advice I can give you is TAKE THE HELP THAT OTHERS OFFER. They are there to give charitable service so let them serve. And you're right, a 1/2 year of not playing with them and feeling good is worth the lifetime you'll have with them. WE LOVE YOU!
Your cousin Lori and her husband Tim (who has brain cancer)!!!