It feels so good to be out of bed!!! This round wasnt as bad as the last round but it was just as rough. The patch helped with the nausea just enough that I wasnt puking every time I drank or ate anything. I actually only threw up 1 time-Hooray!!! But I was still pretty nausous and this time the drugs hit me a little differently than usual. I felt, for about 3 days, that I was in a dream world. I was super loopy and dizzy and totally disoriented. And the exaustion feeling...holy cow, it was a struggle just to roll from one side to the other. I also had some pretty bad bone aches from the lovely shot I get the day after chemo. Maybe I just havent really payed attention to all these before I was soooo sick, but the combo of all these didnt make for a nice week. But on the bright side...I didnt have to go to the hospital this time. Thats always a good thing!!!
This time around was the hardest mentally on me so far. I was so discouraged because all I wanted to do was get up and be normal. I was so sick of being sick. I didnt want to be in my bed anymore and I wanted to be up taking care of my kids. It gets stressful having to rely on everyone else to do the things you usually do. This time I spent alot of time worrying if the kids were ok, if the house was clean, if the kids were behaving, if rules were being followed, if the kids were eating what they were supposed to, if Bill was stressed, if chores were being done, if the kids were bored out of their minds (it was spring break), if they were being too loud in the house...blah blah blah. I just kept worrying about everylittle thing because i couldnt do anything about it. I would try and get up and then almost faint. It was really frustrating. I guess now I can see how easy it is to get discouraged and down. I just want to feel good, to feel normal again. I still have sooo long to go and thats hard for me to think about. I dont want to do this again, but I still have 3 more to go. Alrighty, no more of this boo hoo talk. I know that its something I need to do so I will. Thats just how it is, and before I know it, I will be done.
Ive got a lot to catch up on so im off. Have a great day!!
Back to School...Back to School
6 years ago