Thursday, March 18, 2010

Whoops!!

I just realized that I never updated after my doctors appointment 2 weeks ago. I really thought I had and I just looked on here and realized I hadnt. Whoops!!

Things are good and im feeling great. I am slowly starting to get my energy back and feeling normal. I still have my low energy days, but I dont think thats too out of the ordianry being a mom and all. Its amazing what new boobs will do for ya-even if they are slightly uneven =)

On that note, I walked into that appointment mad as heck and ready to tear into him, but I totally chickened out and decided to be nice about it. He explained in detail why they looked the way they did and he gave me hope that they would not always look this way...and he was right. I can already tell a difference. He said that over time the left side will relax and even out, but it will never look like the same and I needed to be realistic. I understand that raditation ruined my skin and it will never be normal-it will always feel hard and leathery and he did the best he could under those circumstances. I believe him. I think he did a great job and im happy with what I have. They are just boobs afterall.

The next step is the nipple reconstruction. Im not really sure what steps have to be taken for this, but im not really worried about it. I have an appointment this next week to get the stitches out of the left side and im sure we will talk about what comes next. Im excited to just get this over with. I cant even tell you how sick I am of doctors appointments and driving and taking time out to go. I can handle the once every 3 week Herceptin, but anything else just drives me crazy. I cant even stand to take my kids. Avery has been due for her 3 year check up for a month and I just keep putting it off. Im lame.

Anyway, everything else is good and I love being on the end side of all this crap. This whole last year seems like a blur and I cant even believe all I went through. I think I just erased it all so I could move on. I dont remember much so I just count it as a year lost but now things are back on track and its great. Im looking foward to Easter this year because last year I was so sick and I missed out on so much. I look foward to alot. This last year took so much of me and I found it hard to do the small and simple things, like hang out and play with my kids. I just didnt have the energy or the drive. Its a strange feeling to be complely zapped of everything, even when I felt good. I love feeling alive again. Maybe its the weather, I love the warmth and the sun and it makes me happy. =)

I dont really feel the need to dwell on this cancer crap so I probably wont write on here anymore, not that I was a regular or anything, but I feel I need to move on and focus on good things. I might still update here and there, but now that im on the end of this, I want it to be the end. I created this blog so I could make it the focus and record what I was going through. I didnt want this to take away from my family blog, so I made it its own. I think I can incorporate the two now. This is where my life is and im hoping that cancer will make less and less an impact. I will still live with some effects from this blasted disease and I will always have to maintain and do tests and blood work and all that to make sure it doesnt come back, but its just maintenace and I dont think it needs its own blog. Besides, im soooo not on the ball enough to keep 2 blogs. Have you noticed how lacking my family blog has been. Im just now starting to get caught up on the last year. I think my last post was on an event that took place around halloween. Im pretty with it these days.

I have loved this blog and I am so glad that I had a place that made it easy to journal and keep record of all I went through and keep people informed who cared. Thank you so much for all the support over this year and for all the prayers and well wishes. I felt every single one. Im not one for the mushy, but I really am so grateful for all the meals and treats and notes and phone calls and texts and the many, many countless acts of service that came my way. I hope to be able to pay that foward and always be on the giving side of service. I know that my Heavenly Father loves me and allowed me to endure this trial to make me a better person and more compasionate and more willing to serve others. He showed me miracle after miracle and answered my many prayers and he continues to do so. I am happy, healthy and so grateful for another chance at life.
If you really care to keep up on my oh so intersting life, then please feel free to stop by my family blog. Hopefully I will get it updated soon, but its spring break and I dont have much time to blog. But soon, I promise!!
Adios!!!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

GO SHELLY! Thank you for sharing your story! Onwards and Upwards!You are an AMAZING LADY!

LUVS~

Heather (Johnson) Wilson

Christa Johnson said...

I have to say that I am a bit happy to see your blog end, only because it means you are ending a very hard period of your life. Hopefully I will be there too!
Love ya and love all your help!
christa johnson

Lisa said...

Yeah!! I'm glad you are close to the end. Thank you for keeping us updated on your progress. It made it easy to know how you were doing. I have enjoyed to get to know you better and feel of your strength.
We'll be seeing you on the family blog!!
Happy Easter!